한국어판 발간을 축하하며 / 엘렌 베스·로라 데이비스 = 5
역자 한마디 / 이경미 = 7
추천사 / 한국성폭력상담소 소장 최영애 = 10
엘렌 베스의 머리말 = 21
로라 데이비스의 머리말 = 25

들어가는 말 : 치유는 가능하다 = 32
   내가 어린이 성폭력의 피해자인지 아닌지 어떻게 알 수 있나? = 34
   그러나 기억이 나지 않아요 = 36
   지지받기 = 37
   당신은 지금 어디에 있는가? = 37
   이 책을 읽게 되면 = 37
이 책에 나오는 이야기들은 = 40
쓰기 훈련을 활용하는 방법 = 42
   왜 쓰기인가? = 42
   누구나 쓰기 훈련을 할 수 있다 = 43
   시간과 공간 = 43
   남에게 들려주기 = 44
   기본적인 방법 = 44

1부 기억을 수집하기

   그 사건의 후유증 : 손상된 상처를 기억하기 = 49
      자존감과 개별적인 힘 = 151
      감정들 = 153
      당신의 몸 = 54
      친밀성 = 55
      성(Sexuality) = 56
      자녀와 부모 역할 = 57
      문제의 발단이 된 원가족 = 58
      당신은 성폭력의 후유증에서 치유될 수 있다 = 59
      쓰기 훈련 : 후유증들 = 60
   대처(Coping) : 살아 남기 위해 당신이 했던 것을 존중하기 = 61
      기본적인 특성 = 62
      분열(Splitting) = 64
      통제 = 66
      탈출 = 71
      고통이 극에 다다를 때 = 73
      중독과 고립 = 75
      피해를 기억하기 전에는 : 써니의 이야기 = 75
      어떤 희생을 치러서라도 안정성 확보에 주력하기 = 80
      마릴린의 이야기 : 다시 태어나기 = 82
      강박적으로 성행위를 추구하거나 회피하기 = 84
      당신은 변화할 수 있다 = 85
      쓰기 훈련 : 대처 방식 = 85

2부 치유 과정

   글머리에서 = 89
   단계들 = 91
   치유를 결심하기 = 94
      치유는 쉽지 않다 = 97
      모든 사람은 치유될 자격이 있다 = 100
      그들은 우리에게 불리하도록 그것을 이용할 것입니다 : 레이첼 바트 올의 이야기 = 100
      결코 너무 늦은 때란 없다 : 바바라 해밀턴의 이야기 = 101
   위기 단계 = 104
      위기 단계 : 캐서린 이야기 = 106
      위기 단계에서 살아 남기 = 108
      치유의 위기들 = 110
      나에게 희망을 준 것들 = 111
   기억하기 = 113
      기억에 관하여 = 115
      기억하기는 마치… = 116
      기억을 떠올리는 계기 = 121
      감정들을 느끼기 = 124
      기억이 되살아나기 = 126
      시간이 지나면서 차츰 '기억해 내기' = 127
      기억이 막 떠오르려고 할 때 = 129
      "하지만 기억이 안 나요" = 130
      경험한 것을 쓰기 : 당신에게 무엇이 일어났는지에 대하여 = 132
   그것이 일어났음을 믿기 = 135
      부정(不定)의 역할 = 136
      당신의 삶을 들여다보기 = 138
      당신은 인정받을 필요가 있다 = 139
      확신이 단번에 오지는 않는다 = 140
   침묵 깨기 = 141
      당신은 어떻게 침묵당했는가 = 141
      어린이는 어떻게 말하는가 = 143
      말하기 : 그것은 신뢰의 도약을 필요로 한다 = 144
      말하기가 변화를 가능하게 하는 이유 = 146
      말하기의 단계 = 146
      누구에게 말할까 = 148
      어떻게 말할까 = 150
      쓸데없는 것을 제거하기 = 151
   당신의 탓이 아니었음을 이해하기 = 154
      그러나 난 가까워지고 싶었어요 = 156
      그러나 기분이 좋았던 걸요 = 157
      그러나 난 나이도 꽤 들었는데 = 159
      결코 당신의 탓이 아니다 = 160
      수치심을 극복하기 = 161
   자기 내면의 아이와 만나기 = 165
      그렇게 힘든 까닭 = 166
      친해지기 = 168
      아이를 점점 알아 가게 되면서 = 171
      쓰기 훈련 : 내면의 아이 = 173
   자신의 신뢰하기 = 174
      내면의 목소리 = 175
   슬퍼하고 애도하기 = 177
      묻혀 있는 슬픔 = 179
      슬픔에 대하여 = 180
      의례의 역할 = 181
   분노 - 치유의 중추 = 182
      분노에 대한 부정과 왜곡 = 183
      분노의 화살을 엉뚱하게 겨냥하기 = 184
      분노의 방향을 제대로 잡기 = 185
      분노를 일깨우기 = 186
      분노에 대한 두려움 = 188
      어머니를 비난하는 관습에 대하여 = 190
      분노와 사랑 = 192
      그를 죽이고 싶어요 = 192
      분노의 힘 : 세 가지 이야기 = 194
      분노를 긍정적으로 표현하는 방법 = 196
      지지의 힘을 가진 분노 = 197
      삶의 일상으로서의 분노 = 198
      분노를 행동으로 = 199
   드러내기와 직면하기 = 201
      결정하기 = 202
      하늘이 무너지지는 않는다 = 203
      결국 그는 나를 사랑할 거야. 난 알아 = 204
      그래서 우리는 더 가까워졌습니다 : 비키의 이야기 = 206
      가족 아닌 사람과 직면하기 = 207
      직면하기 위한 준비 = 207
      직면하기 = 212
      그러나 그는 날 데리러 올 겁니다 = 213
      이후의 반응 = 214
      다른 어린이를 보호하기 = 216
      가해자와 직면하지 않겠다면 = 218
      직면하기 : 캐서린의 이야기 = 221
      가장 힘든 것과 가장 두려운 것이 무엇인가? = 225
      쓰기 훈련 : 드러내기와 직면하기 = 227
   용서? = 228
      용서란 무엇인가, 또한 용서는 누구에게 이로운가? = 229
      "용서하고 잊어버려" = 230
      연민이 조금씩 생기면? = 231
      그런데 그들의 어린 시절이 불우했다면 = 234
      자신을 용서하기 = 235
      쓰기 훈련 : 가족사를 재구성하기 = 236
   영성 = 237
      구름을 뚫고 날아오르기 = 239
      신앙심을 유지하기 = 239
      이미 알고 있는 바를 찾아내기 = 241
      사랑의 문을 두드리기 = 242
      영성은 도피가 아니다 = 242
      개인적인 것 = 243
   통합과 전진 = 244
      안정 궤도에 오르기 = 245
      가해자와 가족들과의 관계를 풀어 가기 = 246
      상처를 떨쳐 버리기 = 247
      위기를 떨쳐 버리기 = 250
      얼마나 치유되어야 하는가? = 252
      끝이란 없다 = 253
      그것이 가치 있는 이유 = 255
      삶의 영역을 확대하기 = 256

3부 변화는 이렇게 온다

   변화의 과정 = 261
      변화하려면 = 262
      변화를 가로막는 장애물들 = 263
      조그만 자기애로도 충분하다 = 266
      쓰기 훈련 : 행동 양식을 변화시키기 = 267
   자존감과 개인의 힘 = 269
      내면화된 메시지 = 270
      한계와 경계를 정하기 = 274
      긍정적인 자아상 만들기 = 277
      가장 흔한 자기 독백 = 280
      인간 관계에서 자존감 회복하기 = 283
      내 고유의 이름 : 레이첼 바트 올 = 285
      자신을 양육하기 = 289
   감정들 = 291
      감정들을 한 꾸러미로 묶여 있다 = 292
      감정과 만나기 = 293
      감정들을 존중하기 = 295
      감정을 지지하기 = 297
      자신의 감정과 만나는 훈련 = 299
      자신의 감정과 의사 소통하기 = 301
      감정 풀어내기 = 303
      폭력 없이 사는 법에 대하여 = 303
      폭력적인 분노를 통제하기 = 307
      공포 = 308
      자살하지 말라 = 313
      긍정적인 감정들 역시 두려울 수 있다 = 317
   당신의 몸 = 319
      몸에 대한 혐오에서 몸에 대한 사랑으로 = 320
      분열에서 당신의 몸 안으로 = 322
      무감각에서 감각으로 = 324
      몸을 무시하는 것에서 몸에 귀기울이는 것으로 = 326
      운동 = 328
      불면증 = 329
      육체적 질병에서 더 건강한 몸으로 = 330
      당신의 몸과 연결되기 위한 연습 = 331
      중독에서 해방으로 = 335
      섭식 장애 = 336
      자해에서 벗어나 자기 보호로 = 340
      자기 방어 : 피해자에서 승리자로 되기 = 343
   친밀성 = 346
      유익한 관계 = 348
      변화가 인간 관계에 미치는 충격 = 349
      계산된 위험 = 350
      신뢰하는 법을 배우기 = 351
      시험하기 = 354
      과거와 현재의 혼동 = 355
      가까이 오지 마! = 351
      사랑에 대한 두려움 = 358
      정적인 집착 = 359
      날 짓밟아요, 네? = 361
      갈등에 대처하기 = 362
      주고받기 = 363
      나쁜 관계를 알아내는 법 = 366
      이별 = 367
      내 관계가 폭력적인가? = 368
      여전히 즐겁게 지내는가 = 372
   성행위 = 374
      당신은 좋은 기분을 누릴 가치가 있다 = 376
      성행위를 잠시 보류하기 = 377
      당신 자신에서 출발하기 = 378
      연인이나 배우자와 사랑을 나누기 = 382
      욕구를 인정하기 위한 여유을 마련하기 = 398
      성적인 두려움 = 403
      그들도 사랑해야 하는가? = 406
      통제 : "내 식으로 해야 한다" = 408
      당신 혼자 그 자리에 있는 것이 아니다 = 409
      성적 탐닉 = 412
      성폭력 피해를 되풀이하기 = 414
      테이프 바꾸어 끼기 : 사파이어의 이야기 = 420
      잠시 휴식을 취하면서 가벼워져라 = 421
      오랜 시간이 요구되는 성적 치유 = 422
      동성애자이자 생존자임에 대하여 = 425
   자녀와 부모 역할 = 429
      자녀를 가질 것인가 말 것인가를 선택하기 = 429
      교사로서의 자녀 = 430
      부모가 되는 법을 배우기 = 432
      당신의 강점과 약점에 직면하기 = 435
      열린 의사 소통 = 437
      경계를 설정하기 = 440
      부드러워지려면 강해져야 한다 = 445
      당신의 자녀를 보호하기 = 445
      당신의 원가족 혹은 가해자와 함께 문제를 풀어 가기 = 450
      당신의 자녀가 성폭력을 당하고 있다면 = 452
      자녀들이 반드시 알아야 할 점 = 454
      너무 늦는 법은 없다 = 460
   문제의 발단이 된 원가족 = 462
      가족과의 관계를 평가하기 = 463
      원칙 세우기 = 465
      반동 작용 = 466
      가해자와의 관계 = 467
      가해자를 위하여 = 469
      방문하기 = 473
      휴일 = 474
      하지만 얘야, 난 널 사랑한단다 = 476
      거짓말에 넘어가지 말라 = 478
      시간을 주라 = 480
      비현실적인 희망에 집착하지 말라 = 481
      가족과의 단절 = 481
      환상을 포기하기 = 482
      절연하기 = 483
      해결책에 다가서기 = 485
      경험 적기 훈련 : 현재의 당신 가족 = 486

4부 생존자 편에 선 사람들을 위하여

   기본 전제들 = 489
      어떻게 도울 것인가 = 490
   가족들을 위하여 = 492
      성폭력을 가하지 않는 부모 = 492
      형제 자매 = 494
   연인이나 배우자를 위하여 = 496
      당신은 지금 어떤가? = 498
      잃는 것과 얻는 것 = 499
      혼자 감당하지 말라 = 501
      수치심을 극복하기 = 502
      지지받기 = 503
      상호 의존성 = 505
      동료가 된다는 것 = 507
      대화 = 508
      대화에 대하여 : 로저 = 509
      그녀의 고통과 비애, 우울에 직면하기 = 512
      통제 = 514
      자살에 관하여 = 515
      신뢰 = 516
      실제 가해자가 되살아 나올까? = 517
      그녀의 가족 = 519
      성(Sexuality) = 523
      순례를 시작하면서 : 엘렌의 이야기 = 523
      좌절 : 로저의 이야기 = 525
      성행위가 아니라면 이것은… : 엘렌의 이야기 = 527
      그녀는 자신을 먼저 치유해야 한다 : 엘렌 = 531
      이별하기 = 534
      만약 머물기로 한다면 = 536
      두 사람 사이에 있는 멋지고 강렬한 모든 것 = 537
   상담원들을 위하여 = 539
      자신을 돌보기 = 553
      나 자신을 보호하기 : 엘렌 = 553
   치유를 위한 자원 = 556
      개별 상담 = 556
      지지 집단 = 563
      집단의 일원 되기 : 제니로즈 라벤더 = 563
      집단을 시작하기 = 564

부록
   우리 나라 성폭력 상담 기관과 보호 시설 = 565
   미국에 있는 자조 프로그램과 기관 = 567
   도움이 될 만한 책 = 572
참고문헌 = 573